White Wedding Read online

  “We can do that at my condo, too.”

  “All right. I know all your stuff’s still there. We’ll just have to reschedule the move for as soon as possible.”

  When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I’m so sorry, baby. Eboni told me she talked to you about what happened.”

  “Yes, she did, and I understand. There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. None of this was your fault. I overreacted. I should have stopped to talk to you first.”

  “I don’t blame you for being upset.” He took her hand, the one with the diamond casting a sparkle against the window, and kissed his ring on her finger. As beautiful as the ring was, it did not belong on her hand. She was no longer his. Before he could twine their fingers together she removed her hand, using it to push her hair away from her face.

  At her condo, he parked in a visitor’s spot and grabbed her suitcase out of the car. Not bothering to wait for him, she walked to the entrance. She lived on the first level so she didn’t have to worry about riding an elevator alone with him, giving him time to touch her again. She needed space between them, unable to stand being so close to him any more than necessary. Taking her key out of her purse, she opened the door and turned, flipping the wall switch.

  Light flooded the living room area. Funny, the place was as she’d left it, yet nothing was the same. There were colored labels on various pieces of furniture, telling the movers where each piece was to be placed in Kevin’s home. There were boxes filled with her knick knacks and accessories stacked against one of the walls. Kevin was too close behind her and she moved further into the room, stopping in front of her sofa.

  “Do you want me to take your suitcase into the bedroom?”

  “No, thank you. You can just leave it right there, I’ll take care of it later.”

  “Okay.” He put it near the door and stepped toward her; she knew he meant to take her into his arms. When he raised them to do that she placed her palm against his chest.

  Taking a deep breath, she spoke. “Kevin, we need to talk.”

  He frowned. “I knew something was still up.”

  She sat down and patted the spot beside her on the sofa. “Sit down.”

  He did and took her hand. Her phone rang. They ignored it.

  “When a woman says she needs to talk, that’s usually not a good sign for the man,” he joked.

  There was silence when the ringing stopped, but only for a moment before it started again. This time they both turned to look at the phone on the counter in the kitchen. After five rings, it stopped, but started again almost immediately.

  “Maybe it’s my parents,” Shanna offered. “Eboni must have told them I was back. They might keep doing that until they talk to me.” She got up and grabbed it on the fifth ring, but as soon as she said hello she heard a soft click, then the dial tone.

  She hung up, but it rang again, and this time she stopped to look at her caller ID. It flashed: Out of area. She picked up the receiver.

  “Hello.” There was silence on the other end, not even breathing, just silence. She said, “Hello,” again. When there was still no answer, she hung up. She’d taken two steps away when it rang. Looking at the caller ID again it showed the call was coming from out of area. She disconnected the call, and then programmed her calls to go straight through to voice mail.

  She returned to the sofa. “Who was it?” Kevin asked.

  “I don’t know, probably some prank caller or automated system that’s not working right.”

  “I hate those.”

  Taking another deep breath she voiced the decision that would change her life, again. “Kevin, I really don’t know how else to say this, but I can’t marry you.” How could she when she’d spent the last few days making love with another man without once thinking about Kevin, the man she was supposed to love, the man she was supposed to marry? Except, nothing was as it was supposed to be.

  “What? Baby, no,” Kevin said, his nostrils flaring in anger. “You can’t still blame me for what happened? Damn Ben and LaToya and her big mouth.”

  “No, this isn’t about them. It’s not even about what happened. I’ve had a few days to think about it, about why I ran instead of immediately confronting you. I couldn’t believe you were gay.”

  “Well thanks for that, and I’m not. But that’s what I don’t understand. Why? Why didn’t you come talk to me, if only to yell at me or punch me like your mother did?” He rubbed his eye, which still bore a slight discoloration against his coffee complexion.

  “That’s what I’ve been asking myself. I think I didn’t go to you for the truth because, at the time, I really didn’t want to know it. I think I ran because I wanted to run, because maybe I was looking for an excuse.” There. She’d said it, what had been on her mind during the entire flight.

  “Ah, baby.” He took her hands again and kissed her knuckles. “You were just having cold feet. That’s all. What happened pushed you over the edge.”

  She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. Let me ask you something. Why did it take you five years to propose to me?”

  “You know why. I wanted to be sure. I wanted us both to be financially secure and stable. You were busy building your business and I was rising in the legal ranks. Marriage is a big step and I wanted us both to be ready for it.”

  She nodded. “I’m just not sure we’re ready for it with each other.”

  He squeezed her hands and tried to draw her toward him, but she resisted. “How can you say that?” he asked.

  “Easy. I think it’s why I ran given the first opportunity.”

  He released his hold on her and sat back against the sofa, spreading his arms wide along the top. “Damn, girl! What the hell are you trying to say? I love you. Less than a week ago you loved me and were planning on marrying me. As far as I’m concerned, nothing’s changed and we’re still getting married. I don’t know where this shit is coming from, but you need to get your head on straight.”

  There was that dictatorial aspect of his personality again, that reared its head from time to time. She’d never liked it, and liked it even less now. It made it a little easier to do what she knew was right.

  “You’re right, Kevin. I do need to get my head on straight. The first thing I have to do is this.” She pulled his ring off her finger, took his hand off the sofa and placed the ring in his palm. His brow crinkled and his lips parted. The look on his face was one of pure confusion and disbelief.

  “You can’t be serious,” he stated.

  In reply she closed his hand over the ring. “But I am. I don’t expect you to understand. I’m sorry for not being able to explain this any better to you, but I cannot marry you, Kevin. It was and would be a mistake. I’m so sorry.”

  He squinted. “I can’t fucking believe this! You can’t mean it.” He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him, covering her mouth with his before she could utter a sound of protest. He pressed his lips to hers, trying to force her to open for him. She kept hers tightly closed and her body unmoving. Once he realized she wasn’t responding he stopped and pulled away from her.

  “Damn it!” He stood up, towering over her and shaking his head. “This is not over between us. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Maybe by then this will make more sense.”

  “Tomorrow won’t change anything.”

  He walked over to the door and opened it, turning to look at her. “That’s where you’re wrong, baby. Tomorrow can change everything.”

  With that remark he walked through the door, shutting it behind him. She went over to it and locked it. Picking up her suitcase and her purse, she went to her bedroom. Both physically and emotionally drained, she changed and climbed into bed. She’d only eaten on the first leg of her flight, and that had been hours ago, yet she wasn’t hungry. As much as it hurt her to hurt Kevin, she’d done the right thing. She couldn’t marry one man while being emotionally involved with another. She wasn’t sure what the ache she felt for Ross meant, and wasn’t willing to give it a name. But it
was there and she could’t ignore it.

  The flashing red light on her phone caught her attention, reminding her she had messages. They were probably the same ones on her cell. She’d deleted those and didn’t feel like listening to any more right then, but she better call her parents, or else her mother would be on the first flight out of San Diego in the morning and on her doorstep, and she couldn’t deal with her. After spending five minutes on the phone with her mother, letting her know she was back and all right, she hung up. Turning off her bedside lamp, she fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night. The image of amber-colored irises framed by long, thick lashes danced before her eyes, and the memory of warm arms enfolding her kept her awake for a long time.

  ***

  The caller slammed the phone down on its base, pissed the calls just kept going straight to voicemail. No matter, sooner or later she had to turn the phone back on. Anything to irritate the bitch.

  Chapter Six

  The deep male voice of a morning DJ woke Shanna from a restless sleep. Without moving her head, she hit the snooze button on her clock radio. Ten minutes later the blaring sound of an alto sax roused her from slumber again. This time she raised her head, and opened one eye enough to turn off the alarm. The damage had been done—she couldn’t return to sleep; her mind was active with thoughts. Thoughts and memories of her days and nights with Ross. Sighing, she threw back her covers and got out of bed to deal with the day.

  She wasn’t scheduled to return to work until the end of next week, but she needed to keep her mind occupied. Just because she ended things with Kevin, it didn’t mean she was now going to go running after Ross. Hell, after what he witnessed at the airport, he probably didn’t want anything to do with her. She couldn’t blame him, but she still needed to give herself time. Time to decide what she truly wanted. What happened between her and Kevin wouldn’t be repeated with anyone else. She wanted to be sure of herself before she called Ross, though she’d be damned if she’d take five years to do it.

  After she dressed, she headed for the kitchen and programmed the ringer back on for the phones. As soon as she did, it rang. The caller ID once again showed the call was from ‘out of area’.

  She picked up the receiver. Like last night, silence greeted her. She listened for a minute but couldn’t tell if someone was on the other line or if it was one of those computer generated calls, stuck on her number and automatic redial. She hung up and switched the ringer back off. After she arrived at the office, she’d call the phone company and have them test her line.

  “Shanna, I didn’t expect to see you in today. Is everything okay?”

  Eboni was the first person she saw when she walked through the outside entrance of their flagship salon. This store had an entrance from the mall, and a separate entrance from the parking lot. At three-thousand square feet, it was the largest of their three salons, and offered every salon and spa amenity, including a professional dresser. Women and men could bring their outfits in and they were puffed, polished, and petted to match.

  “Yes, I just didn’t want to stay at home and stare at all those boxes.” She followed Eboni to their shared office. They were the only ones with an actual office; all the other rooms were for services. Sharing an office with her sister was fine; they were seldom in it together for any real length of time. Eboni shut the door after she entered and sat at the end of her desk across the room.

  “Okay, spill. How did things go with Kevin last night?”

  Wanting to put this conversation off but knowing she couldn’t, Shanna put her purse in her desk drawer before looking up to face her sister. She sat down on her chair behind her desk, folded her hands together and placed them on the top, preparing herself for another inquisition.

  “I gave him back his ring.”

  “You did what? Are you nuts?”

  She laughed, but it held no joy. “I wish it were that simple.”

  “Sis, what the hell is going on here? I know you know what happened wasn’t Kevin’s fault, so what exactly is up? Something happened in Margarita, didn’t it?”

  “I’m not ready to talk about Margarita. I will say I realized I ran out on the wedding awfully fast. After LaToya told me what she’d seen, the thought never even occurred to me to confront Kevin. I had to keep asking myself—why didn’t I do that? If only to slap his face. Instead, I got the hell outta there without a backward glance.” She could tell from her sister’s thoughtful expression she hadn’t considered that. “Tell me something—if it were you, if you found out the man you were about to marry was gay, what would you do?”

  “I’d cut off his damn balls and plug his ass.”

  She grinned. “Exactly. The fact I did nothing but run told me something. It told me maybe I wasn’t quite as ready as I thought to become Mrs. Kevin Feldman.”

  “But five years, Sis? Five years is a long time to be with someone, and not know that.”

  “And that’s another thing—it took Kevin five years to propose. It shouldn’t have taken that long if it was so right. I think he’d been under a lot of pressure from his folks and then his job. I know as a lawyer being considered for partner, the senior partners look at the stability of their people. They want to know they’re in committed relationships.” She shrugged and continued. “They’d known Kevin and I had been dating for years, ever since he started at the firm. I remember a couple of months before he proposed we were at a dinner party with one of the partners, and it was jokingly mentioned it was time for Kevin to step up to the plate if he wanted to be made partner. If he couldn’t commit to his woman, how could he commit to the firm? Guess it wasn’t much of a joke after all. Maybe he thought it was necessary for the next step in his career.”

  “Maybe that was a part of it, but not all of it.”

  “I just don’t know, Eboni. I do know that I’m not sure anymore, and in all fairness to both of us, it’s best we not remain engaged.”

  “Wow. Have you talked to Mom about this?”

  “No, not yet. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her when I spoke to her last night. I’m sure she’ll be calling me tonight, 'cause you know damn well Kevin’s mother would have called to tell her I gave Kevin back his ring.”

  “Yeah, well don’t be too sure about that. Mrs. Feldman wasn’t too pleased when she found out Mom belted her precious son. I think you might find Mrs. Feldman is no longer so keen on a marriage between you two.”

  “Well she’s got her wish.” Just then her private line rang and she picked it up. “Shanna Stiles,” she said into the receiver. She heard the soft click of a phone disconnecting. “Hmm, that’s weird.” She put down the receiver and returned her attention to her sister.

  “Anyway, I don’t expect the next few days to be very quiet ones, at least until everyone understands it really is over between Kevin and me.”

  Eboni sighed and walked around to her chair. “You got that right. But I support you whatever you want to do.”

  Shanna smiled. “Thanks. By the way, do you know if LaToya clocked in this morning?”

  Eboni turned on her computer to check. “We haven’t seen her for the week, and I don’t think we will.” She glanced at her screen. “She isn’t logged in as being here. Let me check her schedule to see if she has any appointments today and at what time.” Her hands shifted across the keyboard. “Yep, she’s got four scheduled, and if she’s not here now, she’s late for her first one. I have someone ready to take her clients if she’s a no-show.”

  “I’ll call up front and see if she’s here or called in.” After talking to the receptionist, Shanna hung up the phone. “She’s not here. I’m going to call her house.” She’d only been on the phone again for a minute. “Her number’s been disconnected. Did you know that?”

  “No. I called her the night of the wedding, after she disappeared from the church, and left her a message on her voicemail. Try her cell. I’ve used that to leave her messages for the last few days and it was working.”

  Shanna tried
her cell, but the call went directly into voicemail, like the phone was turned off. She left a message asking LaToya to call her.

  “What the hell could she have been thinking?” Eboni shook her braided strands. “Well other than she wanted Kevin, but he never wanted her. Damn, seems like everybody wanted Kevin.”

  “But the bride.”

  “Ah, Sis.” Eboni got up, came over to her sister and hugged her. Leaning against the edge of her desk, she asked, “You sure about this?”

  “No. Yes. I’m sure. Kevin and I have no business getting married.”

  “Okay, you know I love you and no matter what, I got your back.” She straightened up. “I was planning on spending the rest of the day visiting the other salons, so call me if you need me.”

  “Thanks, Sis. Love you, too. I’ll stay here. Maybe later I’ll take a run over to LaToya’s place. At least make sure she’s all right. I can’t believe she’d screw me over like this.”

  “That’s where I think you’re wrong. Remember that time some chick stole that soccer player she’d been seeing, and she ran into her at a nightclub one night?”

  “I wasn’t with you all then.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Well if it wasn’t for the bouncer in there she would have cut that woman. She went after the heifer with a broken bottle and security pulled it out of her hand and escorted her out the club.”

  “Yeah, I remember you telling me about it, but that still doesn’t mean she’d lie about this to me. We’ve known LaToya for years; she’s been almost as close to me as you are. We started the businesses together.”

  “No. We started the businesses.” She pointed one finger at herself then her sister. “She worked for us.”

  “That may be true, but she’s been with us from the beginning, doing whatever we’ve asked of her.”

  “Well that’s true,” Eboni said. “And all the more reason for her to be jealous of your success. We all started out as hairstylists together and now you own the place where she works. Look, just something to think about. I’ve got to run. I’ll check in with you later.”