Stirred: The Martini Lounge Book 2 Page 4

  “Do you now? That’s pretty good, most don’t.”

  I grinned, I couldn’t help it, my stomach muscles clenched but not in pain this time, or maybe it was but the pleasure kind. “I am pretty good and I’m not most.” Oh my God. Flirting. I was flirting with him.

  He made a throaty sexy sound that I wanted to hear again

  “What’s your name and can I buy you a drink, or a cup of coffee?” he asked.

  “It’s kinda late.” I almost groaned, it was just after midnight, it wasn’t that late.

  “Are you Cinderella?”

  I snorted. “Not hardly.”

  “Ahem.”

  I heard the sound of someone clearing her throat beside me and glanced over at Odessa who only raised an eyebrow, her mouth curling up at one corner. “The car’s here,” she said, glancing toward the BMW now idling near her.

  “Well, my ride’s here. I’ve got to go.”

  “Come on, just a cup coffee,” he said smiling.

  I hesitated. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.” For so many reasons, none I could tell him.

  He held his hand up to his chest. “I’m harmless, your friend can come too. We’re just going to the end of the block. We can walk. There’s a coffee shop that’s open all night.”

  “Why should I? I don’t know you.”

  “Get to know me.”

  I lied. I did know this man. I knew him in my soul and that he’d never harm me, at least not that way. But eventually he’d break my heart so I had to protect myself. I’d sacrificed enough. Before I could answer him, Odessa did. “I’ll meet you guys down there.”

  My protest died in my throat, Odessa got into the car and pulled off while I remained rooted on the sidewalk beside Matrix.

  I let a good dose of the night air into my lungs and took in the citrusy scent of his cologne. “Okay, then.”

  We walked down the street, moving close together but not quite touching.

  Chapter Seven

  Harper

  Dear Matrix,

  Did you ever wish your life could be different? Surprisingly, I don’t. I’m glad things happened to me the way it did. My mother was a crack head, so needless to say, I didn’t grow up the way you did surrounded by family. What you talk about, having a large family, is foreign to me. It had just been me and my mom and a string of boyfriends. Then when I was about 17 she met a man and we moved in with him. Sonofabitch tried to crawl into bed with me. The first time I screamed and he ran out. I tried to tell my mother, but she was too stoned to really understand. The second night I was ready for him and slept with the kitchen knife under my pillow. When I waved it in his face he backed out of the room. The next day my mom came to me to tell me to mind my stepfather because he had a right to sleep in my bed since he owned it. What the hell, Matrix? What kind of mother does that? I knew she was an addict, I guess I never really let myself know how much of one she was. This man, they were not married, but he was also her supplier. I guess she cared more for her next fix than her daughter.

  I packed up my shit and left like I was going to school and I never went back. I was a month from turning 18. I stayed with friends until my birthday then I enlisted and never looked back. I found a home in the Marines, made a lot of good friends in the military, met a lot of good people, but none of them can hold a candle to you. My road led me here to you. So don’t feel sorry for me. I regret nothing.

  Love,

  Nadya

  What the hell was I doing? I hadn’t felt anything for anyone for a long time until Nadya. Then one day she was just gone. She’d been such a large part of my life for the three years we wrote to each other. I always assumed she’d be there, that we’d take our relationship to beyond just the letters. In a way, I thought we had, but I guess I was wrong and that knowledge hurt like a fucker. Was I finally ready to move on? The thought of Nadya still hurt and it sobered me. I’d almost left, not waited for the temptation of the beautiful woman inside. I’m glad I stayed.

  I don’t know what the hell was happening to me but I found myself moving in her direction. It was like she was calling me to her although she made no sound. It was a good move inviting both my mystery woman and her friend to have coffee with me. I still didn’t know what I was doing but as we walked side by side I kept brushing my arm against her. I did it on purpose—the same instinct that had me waiting on her had me wanting to touch her.

  Shaking my head, I tired to clear it. I had no idea what had come over me. I have never ever sought out one of the club’s clients. I’d been approached by women many times and even found some of them very attractive, but not once had I ever wanted to pursue any woman outside of a dance at the club. There had always been Nadya. Yet she wasn’t here. She didn’t want me. The pain twisted in my gut.

  I glanced up at a door, realizing we’d just walked the block and neither of us had said a word. I pushed the café door open for the woman to go in before me. I’d just make this one cup of coffee, find out her name, chat for a minute and then go on my way. I had a lot to deal with: my new profession and much to look forward to. What did it matter if I’d be alone. We took a booth in the corner and she smiled at me. The blood in my body heated, reminding me I need not be alone if I didn’t want to be.

  The waitress came by and took our orders for a couple of coffees.

  “You’re a great dancer,” she said.

  I chuckled. “Thank you. That was my last performance.”

  “Really? But why? You’re very talented.”

  “Thank you, but I only did it to help pay some bills.” I could see her features much clear in this light. She was even prettier.

  She nodded her head. “That I do understand.”

  “What’s your name?”

  “Ah…”

  “Hey.”

  I looked up and saw the woman she’d been with at the club beside our table. “Hi,” I said and waved to the seat next to her friend for her to join us. On the one hand I’d prefer she didn’t, on the other I wanted her to so I wouldn’t become any more attracted to her friend than I already was. Her presence would dampen whatever was going on in my head.

  “This is Odessa,” the woman said.

  She waved at me, but didn’t sit down. “Hi, nice meeting you.” Then she stared at the woman across from me. “Honey, I’m sorry but the babysitter called. I have to head home.”

  “Oh okay, I’m coming.” She moved as if to slide out of the booth.

  Odessa shook her head and held out her hand to stop her. “No, it’s fine. You can take an Uber home.”

  “I can give her a ride home,” I offered. What was I thinking? I didn’t want to spend any more time around this woman than I had to. She had me meeting her outside of the club, feeling things I wasn’t ready to feel for another woman. Yet, they were there.

  They both stared at me then. Odessa’s face broke into a smile. “Perfect.” She saluted us both then left the café. I returned my attention to the woman whose name I still didn’t know and found I really wanted, needed to know her name.

  “So, you trust me to take you home?” I asked.

  She hesitated for a moment, her gaze boring into mine as though she was trying to read my intentions, then slowly nodded.

  I breathed a sigh of relief that she found something she trusted. “Then what’s your name?”

  “Is Matrix your real name?”

  I didn’t expect that. Now it was my turn to hesitate. Funny, no one’s ever asked me that before. Even if they figured out it might be a stage name they never bothered to ask for my real one, not that I would have told them. But it seemed easy to tell this stranger now. Besides, that part of my life was over and done with. Although still not something I let the firm I’d be working for know about.

  I was saved from immediately answering when the waitress came back with our drinks. Yet I knew I’d tell her. Something about her was just easy to be around. Besides, the secrecy no longer really mattered. “Harper. My real name is Harper.�
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  She smiled, her lips dimpled at the corners and I wanted to plant kisses on each side. My dick twitched. Three times in an hour. Not a usual occurrence for me.

  “Hello, Harper. I’m happy to meet you. My name is…” she kinda hesitated. “Denise.”

  I frowned. Did she not want to tell me her name? For some reason that didn’t seem quite right to me. I shook my head. It didn’t matter if it was her real name or not. We’re just having a cup of coffee, even if she’s one of the most intriguing women I’ve come across in a long time who I want to know more about. I didn’t know her but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

  “So why did you really stop dancing since it paid the bills?” she inquired.

  I sighed. Was I really going to tell this stranger everything? Why not, I wasn’t ashamed of what I did. I danced for a living and that’s it. I wondered how she really felt about that. Since she was here with me, knowing what I did, I hoped she was cool with it, with me. I didn’t want to take any chances. I went with my gut and told her the truth.

  “I was in law school and just graduated. I accepted an offer at a law firm. I start on Monday.”

  All her features lit up with pleasure. “Congratulations. Do they know about your moonlighting?”

  I snorted. “Not hardly.”

  “Explains the mask. Good idea. But no worries, your secret is safe with me.”

  I blew on my coffee before taking a sip. “You know you’re one of the few people who don’t work at the club who knows. Well since you know all of my secrets, Denise, tell me at least one of yours. Start with, is there anyone special in your life?”

  “I’m honored and that seems fair.”

  Chapter Eight

  Nadya

  Dear Nadya,

  This is the last time I’m going to write to you. You see, I checked to make sure you were still among the living. I can’t tell you how much for a while I had a sense of déjà vu, the fear I experienced when I didn’t hear from you for months. All too reminiscent of when my brother went missing. I told myself this was different, I thought there had to be a good reason, like a secret mission or some such shit. After finding out you were indeed alive and well all along. Don’t get me wrong. I’d never been happier when I found that out, still, it has taken me a long time to come to the conclusion your silence meant something else.

  I’m going to respect that, how can I not. But I need you to know how much your letters meant to me, how much our exchanges brightened my day, how much having you in my life for however short a time even though we never met nor will we now. It mattered. I was falling in love with you, Nadya. That was not a lie. Why should I lie? No reason to. I’m sorry if my feelings scared you, but I had to let you know. Love isn’t something that should ever have to be hidden, but something mutually shared and openly enjoyed. Your letters stirred something inside my soul, but I guess it was only me. Be at peace Nadya, and come back to the U.S. whole and healthy.

  Part of me will always love you. Have a long and happy life.

  Always,

  Matrix

  I took a little sip of my latte enjoying the foam on the top. Harper’s request was a fair one, a secret for a secret. But life had other ideas for us. I couldn’t tell him truth, like who I am, who we are to each other. But I can tell him something. I had an opportunity here and I was going to take it. One night. If I could have one night with him, that’s as far as it would go, it would last me a lifetime. Denise could be honest with him, whereas Nayda can’t.

  “Well let’s see, nope,” I said. “No significant other. I’m a civil engineer and Odessa is my play cousin. Longtime friends. I’m living with her and her husband and my baby goddaughter until I can save up enough money for my own place. Although, I love them for taking me in, and she’d be pissed at me for leaving it’s going on two months now. I’m almost ready to start looking for my own place and to give them back their privacy.”

  “Well it’s nice to be wanted, although I can see how you’d want your own space. I come from a large family and I love ‘em but I need my space. Two days with my brothers and we’re bashing heads.”

  I chuckled. “No head bashing here. They’re the sweetest family and the place is a three bedroom townhouse so I have my own room, but it’s cramped with three adults and a toddler.”

  He leaned forward his arms on the table. “Still, it’s good being around family.”

  “What about you? Anyone…special in your life?” I didn’t realize I’d held my breath until after he spoke and I exhaled.

  “There used to be.”

  My heart slammed against my chest cavity at that. A wave of sadness engulfed me. I raised my cup for something to do but put it down, masochist that I am, I needed to know. “Used to be? I’d think a guy like you would have his pick of women every night.”

  He shook his head. “No. In the three years I’ve been a dancer I’ve never done any more than dance with the members. Once the dance was over I didn’t linger.”

  “Really, why? What happened?” I knew why but I needed to hear him say it. I wanted every scrap of his emotions. They would be all I’d have.

  “I was never interested in the women who came to the club, and besides I was in a relationship.”

  I almost choked at that, and didn’t dare look up at him but managed to get out in a soft voice. “What happened?”

  “She didn’t feel the same way.”

  I met his gaze when he said that. Stifling the no threatening to get loose. I said nothing.

  He shrugged. “It is what it is.”

  Not true, I wanted to deny it all. Yeah, it hurt like the damage done to my body did to hear him say it. Even worse because I could see the hint of sadness in his light brown eyes. But I knew ultimately it would be for the best. He’d get past it. “I’m sorry.” And I was, more than he’d ever know. I fell in love with him through his letters and sitting here talking to him I knew I loved him still. God, this was fucking hard. Why the fuck did it have to be so hard? I had to say something. “Yeah, life can be harsh sometimes, I know that firsthand.”

  “Sounds like a story there.”

  I laughed but it wasn’t from mirth. He already knew my story, he just didn’t realize he did. As I knew his. “Yeah, there is.”

  “Well I showed you mine, so show me yours?”

  Chapter Nine

  Harper

  I stared into Denise’s dark chocolate eyes and for a moment a stab of regret so strong hurt my heart. I’d never be able to look at Nadya like this. Up until a month ago, any time I checked the mailbox, I searched for a letter. Every time I turned on my phone or computer and saw I had an email, I expected to see a familiar address. Yet, it wasn’t there and an iron weight sat in my gut. I needed to move on but I didn’t know how—until tonight. What was it about this woman? Whatever it was, I had never opened up like this to any woman except Nadya. I was curious to hear what Denise would tell me.

  “I’ve only had one close relationship with a man. My life was really screwed up before that and since. You see, I can’t have children, can’t get pregnant.”

  Wow! What she said floored me. I wanted kids. Coming from the kind of large, close-knit family I have, I wanted that. Wanted to look into the eyes of a child and see something of myself and my partner there. Yes, I knew I could adopt but I couldn’t imagine not having a child of my own, and I could see the sadness in her. “I’m so sorry.”

  She shook her head. “Anyway, that’s my story. It is what it is.”

  We’d both finished our coffee but we continued to sit there talking. I didn’t want to leave. This night seemed surreal. My last dance and I meet someone at the club of all places. Someone I wanted to get to know, spend time with.

  “It’s getting late,” she said.

  “Yes, come on I’ll take you home.” I didn’t want to. I wanted to take her home with me. I wanted to wake up with her in the morning. I was never a one night stand kind of guy, and that’s not what I wanted. I wanted t
o see her again beyond the morning. Yet, I didn’t want to let her go tonight.

  “Are you sure? It’s no problem for me to catch a cab or call an Uber,” she replied, pulling out her phone like she was about to do that.

  No. I wasn’t ready for my time with her to end. I held out my hand and placed it on top of hers. It was the first time we’d touched since I’d danced with her. While those were charged moments, this was different. The energy surging back and forth between us was tangible. I glanced into her eyes, her gaze locked onto mine. Yeah, she felt that charge too. I smiled and rubbed my thumb across the top of her hand. “Let me take you home.”

  She nodded, but she didn’t remove her hand. I gave it a gentle squeeze then stood up.

  We walked in silence the two blocks over to the lot where my Jeep Wrangler was parked. Our walk over wasn’t unpleasant so much as charged with tension. I had an awareness of every breath she took. All of me was in tune with her, wanted to reach out and touch her again or have her put her hands on me. All these years and women’s hands roaming all over my body, I didn’t mind but that was different. I wanted hers on me. There was an ache in my stomach. I kept my hands stuck in my pockets, only taking them out to use the key fob. “This is me,” I said.

  I opened the car door for her and helped her in, then I hurried around the car to my side. She gave me her address over in Old Town, not too far. There wasn’t a lot of traffic on the road at this hour so we made good time, too good. Even though I kept to the speed limit, something I don’t normally do. Anything to prolong our time together. I was pathetic.

  I pulled up into the driveway of a one car garage townhouse in a nice residential community. I didn’t cut off the engine, but I put it in park and turned to her. “I want to see you again.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” Shit was it all just me, was I that pathetic? Impossible. I knew she was just as into me as I was to her.